The Spirit of Hymns

Today in church I was flooded with the spirit. It's rare with 3 boys on the pew with  me. But the cacophone seemed to still for a minute today while we were all taught truth through word and music.

*The first speaker let us into his life as he talked about gaining his own testimony. He remembered wanting to know, for a surety from the time he was 8. He asked earnestly, always before a big spiritual moment in his life, but was often disappointed...no heavenly angels or Christ appearing to him, but he had faith that what he was doing was true and brought him happiness, so he continued to believe. It wasn't until he was 20, that he felt the arms of his Savior wrap around him and testify of the truth of the gospel he had always believed in. 

He then played, "I believe in Christ" on the piano. First with just his right hand. It seemed so hesitant but clear and simple, just like the beginning of his testimony and the beginning of mine. On the next verse, he added another part, and the song became a touch richer and more confident; on the third verse the music became full and interesting, and the fourth verse was the climax with beautiful and intricate details, but it was not flawless. It was just like the testimony he now possesses. One that has been worked on and tested, over and over again. He ended the song, with a few short notes on his right hand only...reminding us that it was still the same, simple song that he started out with and it was beautiful every way he played it. I was so moved, by what he played and the story it told. I reflected on how my own testimony of the Savior is sometimes simple and other times complicated, sometimes confident and other times hesitating...but it's always there and I'm grateful for that.

*The second speaker let us into a dim, heartbroken time of her life where her own loneliness enveloped her. She sang the words to the hymn "Abide with Me," and told us that as she sang that song, she knew she would never be alone, that Christ would always be her companion. I was so touched by her honesty and sincerity and knew she was speaking truth. Christ can be our companion, especially in our darkest hour.

*The third speaker taught us what music can mean, if we let it. It can tie worlds together; it can bring people closer and can touch you in a way you are unprepared for. She grew up in France and for a time lived on an island in French Polynesia. She expounded on how the island people sing, and I couldn't help smile as she vividly described the way their whole souls sang the hymns as they praised God. They sang loud and with gusto. She said she remembers feeling so much joy when they sang she wanted to stand up and dance. As she continued to speak, my body ached to be there, to be part of what she was describing. Then, she asked our small congregation to sing "Sweet Hour of Prayer." She invited us to stand and sing with our whole souls. It was an amazing experience as our small numbers belted out such a wonderful song, "In seasons of distress and grief, my soul hath often found relief..." In that moment, as a congregation, I think we all felt the relief that the holy spirit can bring as we united in song. It was a moment you wish could last longer that it did.

*The fourth and final speaker had only a few minutes, but chose to share his feelings about the children's hymn, "I am a Child of God." They are words we are all familiar with, taken from the foundation of our testimony..."I am a Child of God, and He has sent me here. Has given me an earthly home, with parents kind and dear. Lead me, guide me, walk beside me, help me find the way. Teach me all that I must do, to live with Him some day."

He told us how that song meant so much to him because he sang it with the people of Russia during his mission. When their life was bleak and hopeless, the words of the song brought hope and love. He also sang it when he lived in Egypt with a few members of the church and many refugees. Many people there had nothing at all and others had plenty but they all, regardless of circumstance needed the same thing, the love of God in their lives. 

He then began singing the song, a capella. First in Russian, then in Arabic. The congregation, for a moment, was completely silent. Jace leaned over and said "Even the babies are listening." What happened was we were all swept up in the beautiful spirit of his simple testimony and the truth of the words he sang.

I am just immensely grateful that I was there today. What an infusion of the spirit it was for me. These were moments that strengthened my testimony of God and the gospel of Jesus Christ. It reaffirmed that I know He lives and loves us and wants us to partake of His joy.

Chore Chart Dropout

I hate chores, for me and my kids and my husband. I really feel like cleaning just gets in the way of all the other fun and more important and interesting things in the life of a mother. I've often wished I had just a little OCD in me (To be honest, a kitchen full of open drawers and cupboards doesn't call out to me to shut them...gasp!) The problem? I also hate having a messy house and so does my super clean husband, and my kids like things orderly too or they don't play with anything, so what's a girl to do? Oh, and that minor thing about teaching your children to work and be productive? Yeah, need to fit that in too.


When we moved here I was totally going for the OCD girl...house perfect all the time, all the laundry done and put away on one day of the week, chore charts for each child that were finished before school, dishwasher started every night, a rotating list of deep cleaning...you know, crazy? It worked for a bit...


Then life got real. We got busy: friends, jobs, activities, homework, church callings, sports, holidays, visitors. I couldn't keep up with my craziness, so now I'm just back to being me (well, me plus a very clean and helpful husband). My downstairs (kitchen and living area) is almost always clean or 5 minutes from it as is my bathroom (lots of pressure when there is only one in your house) because it makes me happy to walk into a clean house that smells good, plus I like people to feel welcome when they walk in ...upstairs, you are rolling the dice. I pretty much stack my clothes in a corner for a week, then hang them all up. Laundry gets done in spurts, sometimes not often enough and I have to throw a load in for socks and underwear. Deep cleaning about once a week or every 10 days. On the brighter side, I am a purger, and don't like clutter, so you won't find any hoarding going on around here (just in case you are envisioning a hazmat zone). I'm pretty sure I'm a better mom and person without trying to pretend like I have OCD. (It's a DISorder for a reason, right?)  I can't stand the pressure of having a perfectly clean house...you never want your kids to do ANYTHING.


Oh, and chore charts are out too. My kids are too young to do them independently and I'm too lazy to enforce them all the time. It was becoming like a full time job. So, now our plan is before school every kid does 5 things (thanks Jenny) 1. Make bed 2. Clean room 3. Get dressed 4. Say prayers 5. Brush teeth. It's working like a charm...no one misses or negotiates or forgets. Loving it.


Then, our deal as a family is when I ask for help, you have to answer yes. So, the boys help with dishes, unload the dishwasher, clean the stairs, take out the garbage and help with extra stuff on the weekends or when we need it. Sometimes I need their help a lot, sometimes rarely. They are generally happy helpers and as long as they stay that way, I'm happy to wing it with them.


I realized, I can't become someone I'm not. I have friends who keep stuff spotless without being crazy and their kids learn from them to keep things spic and span. That is seriously admirable. For me, pretty clean is good enough, and when we have a party or visitors, I get a little crazy and things are spotless and I love it for the moment and the next morning I don't do the breakfast dishes until after lunch and let my kids cut paper and use glue right on the kitchen table in between those breakfast dishes and syrup spills, then we play a few games on the ground and read a few books and pile them all on the couch where they do not belong and it feels so good. I've decided that a little less than perfect around here is perfectly all right with me.

Tender Heart

#2 has such a gift for empathy. He feels, in his little soul, how others feel. If we ever tell a story about something sad, he talks to us for hours about how if he were there, he would have helped/done things differently. 

The other day we took #3 to the doctor for his 4 year old shots. It was so sad. I had to hold him down while they poked him 4 times. He was wailing and my heart hurt for him...he's a pretty tough kid usually. When he was done and sniffling in my lap, #2 gave him a hug and knelt down at his feet and lovingly put his boots on for him saying in a high, sweet voice, "Are you okay buddy?" He carried #3s books and pictures and kept checking on him and reminding him of the treat to come.

We stopped at the store to get some much needed sugar and #2 walked with his little arm around #3s shoulders. He turned to me and said, "Mom, I just feel so sorry for him. When he was getting his shots, I felt so sad for him that I started crying too, so I put the book over my face so the doctors wouldn't see me."

My heart swelled inside. He is such a sweet, kind and soft kid. True, brotherly love.

Sew, Sew Cool

I wish I could sew. I will learn how one day. If I could sew, I would be just like Lizzie from Cotton and Curls. She has redone an old piece of her wardrobe everyday this month. It's awesome! There are still 10 days left. Wish I could have her revamp mine! If I could sew the possibilities would be endless. Here are a few of my faves:

Learning to Read

It's no secret that I love to read. Before I had children, I had visions of snuggling up with babies, teens and everything in between and sharing my love of books. Funny how most of those idealized visions never materialize. You see, I have 3 boys. Busy, crazy, active, amazing boys and I love it. They like books and like to read, but they would always choose something active over something still, so I had to make learning to read a bit more fun than looking at letters and practicing sounds.

So, just in case we have more kids at some future point and I'm too old to remember what I did well with the first 3, I thought I should write a few parenting things down, since my blog is pretty much our only journal now.  Also, a few people here were interested in how I got my boys to read fairly early, so I thought I should make a record of it. 

Before I start with my explanation,  you must know that I think children really catch on when they are ready. My boys are not "gifted" readers that plow through chapter books at 4 or teach themselves to read at 2. I've known a few kids like that and they are amazing. Also, all of my boys have learned differently. #1 knew letters and sounds at a ridiculously young age, #2 has great instincts and can hear the correct words when he strings sounds together without any effort at all, and #3 was so stubborn that he went from barely recognizing all his letters to reading 3 and 4 letter words with short vowels in 3 months, plus he really loves books. There is only so much you can do as a parent but you can do something!

That being said, I've always hoped my kids would be reading before Kindergarten, for the sheer fact that if they can do that, it seems they are immediately labeled as "smart," and that is nice label to start life with, even if it's not always true. On the other hand, my friend's daughter didn't read at all, not one word, until 1st grade, but then reading just clicked for her and as a 3rd grader she's her classes' highest performer and major book lover. So, lots of times it really doesn't matter, but since I loved it so much it was important to me. Plus, you hear of boys struggling with reading more often than girls, so anything I could do to give my boys a leg up was a good thing.

Also, I'm not a teacher or expert, but I thought I'd share a few things that were fun and worked for us so that I can remember too.

Books

These are 2 of our favorites. One thing I like about them is that they are easy for the kids to participate in. From the time they can talk, once they are familiar with the book, I usually leave the last word of the sentence out and let them fill it in. As they get older I leave out more and more. We have quite a few books they can recite. It gives them confidence and they learn to look at pictures and predict words. It's always been a fun game for us and keeps them engaged in reading.

Alphabet Floor Puzzles

We have used this puzzle like crazy. We have lots but this is my favorite because the letters are formed correctly and are easy to read and the pictures are in the background. We have used this to pieces with all of my kids. The ways we used the puzzle:

*We would do it together

*We'd sing the ABCs as we pointed to the letter. We'd sing it faster and faster and faster.

*We'd jump from letter to letter while singing.

*We'd point out the letters we knew.

*When they were familiar with some letters, I'd put a piece of sugar cereal on each letter, and if they knew the letter, they could eat the cereal. If not, I'd eat it. I'd start with just a few that I knew they knew then add one or two every time we did the puzzle. I tried to teach the easiest, most familiar ones first.

*Pretty soon, they knew all the letters, so we'd do the same thing with sounds. It was a fun game that kept their attention. It seemed like they looked forward to our puzzle time.

*We stopped when it wasn't fun or when interest was gone. One thing I knew was that I never wanted reading to be a punishment or chore but a fun way to interact with me and the world. 

The Letter Factory DVD

I'm not usually a fan of TV learning, in fact it seems like an oxymoron, but this DVD was awesome for teaching sounds. Once my kids knew the letters, I let them watch this DVD for their TV time and the sounds usually came lickety split.

My first steps to reading books

I think these books are painfully boring, but all my kids have really liked them and they teach lower case letters really well. Capitals seemed much easier than lowercase. You can get the whole set at the library.

Spelling!

One thing that has always worked well for us is using spelling to learn to read. In the car or when trying to pass time, I'll give my kids words to spell. In the beginning, I'll help them sound them out, letter by letter (meaning I'll say the sound and they the letter), but it's not long before they can do it on their own. I also like using spelling to teach new concepts like the silent "e" or the "y" that sounds like an "i." We actually spell a lot before we try read.

Foam Bath Letters!

We used these a bunch too. I'd suggest buying at least 2 sets, so you have 2 of each letter. We spent a lot of bathtub time spelling words on the wall. I love places where my kids enjoy (or have to) chat with me. This felt like a game to them too, so they were happy to play "bath spelling" which often leads to "bath reading."

Lists!

I'm always amazed at how quickly kids start stringing sounds together once they have them down. We like to write our own lists to read and start with a simple sound like, "at." Once they can do that, we add a letter to the beginning of the sound (cat, bat, sat, mat) then do another ending and do the same thing and presto! they can read. Watching their face when they do it on their own for the first time is magic. They are so proud.

Sight Words.

There are just some words you can't sound out, so we have to "remember" those. These are tough and it's helpful when a preschool teacher or kindergarten teacher has a list and reinforces it. If not, they are easy to find online. 

Beginning Books

There are so many series out there for beginning readers. We've almost always gotten them from preschool or kindergarten teachers.  If my kids ever got frustrated with it, they would read a page, then I would read a page. I never wanted reading to be a hassle for them or force them to read books that were too far above their level. That's just frustrating. I also didn't stop reading to them for pleasure just because they could read.

After this, I'm so glad my kiddos go to school! We try to supplement and reinforce what they learn there. All 3 of them would still rather play then read, so we have a plan each night:

Later Bedtime

We read scriptures together at 8, then they are all welcome to keep their light on for 30 minutes and read on their own. If they are not reading or looking at books, the light goes off. It's their personal reading time. I read to them at other times of the day. It's been a great way for our kids to settle down and have some independent time and makes reading a real privilege, not a chore.

Pardon the Interruption

Remember that fun Christmas chain? We had a little interruption...Mr. #2 got sick, I mean really sick. Puking every 15-30 minutes for 20 hours, then on and off for another 4 days. This little guy has no fat storage to keep him going. It was so sad. He was in serious pain. So, instead of wild Christmas festivities, everything was put on hold and instead we watched a lot of TV, ate a lot of saltines, and just felt sorry for our little guy.

#2 is such a champ too. Trying so hard to be brave, feel better and be helpful. My heart ached for him and his little body. At one point he turned to me with tears in his eyes, hanging over the toilet and in a sweet, sad voice said, "Mom, can't to do something? Can you find something to make me feel better? It hurts so much!"

I felt so helpless, willing to do anything to take his pain away, but I knew I couldn't. I'd been where he was before and understood what he was going through. But I knew his body had to rid itself of whatever was making him so ill...there was no magic fix.  I knew he'd feel better, at some point. I reflected on how painful it must be to have a child that physically suffers often, and then perhaps because of the Christmas season, I thought about how our Savior must feel when our lives are painful and hard. He's been there, He understands and wants so much to take our pain from us, but He can't take it anymore than I could take Parker's from him. He can support us, hold our hands and help us through, but take it away, He cannot. He knows that we must work our way through it and that it will, in time,  get better.

I'm grateful for what I've had to work through and the lessons I've learned from it. I'm grateful my Savior is always there buoying me up. I'm grateful for generally healthy children and that we all feel better right before Christmas!

My Merriest Moment

Today was a busy day. I decided to take my kids to the mall to see Santa. Crazy? Yes. When we pulled into the parking lot I realized just how crazy the idea was. I could not see an empty parking spot. As I turned down one aisle, #1 yelled, "Mom, stop! There is a man back there in a wheelchair who needs help."

My reply was, "Honey, lots of people are in wheelchairs. They do just fine. He's fine. I didn't even see him." And I started to pull into a coveted parking space decently close to the doors.

Then, #1 again, "Mom, the spirit is telling me that we really should go help that man."

I paused. I know that one of the most important things Mike and I try to teach our boys is to listen to the good promptings we receive. It's extremely important to us that we raise children who care about others more than themselves. We would love it if their natural instincts were to always watch for those in need and be unafraid to help. So, here I was in a tough spot. I really didn't want to help, I had Christmas plans, but how could I ignore my 7 year old who was demonstrating what we hope our children are learning in our home. So, I backed out of the parking spot and found one far away from the mall, but closer to the man.

We got out of the car and I finally saw what #1 was talking about. An older man was sitting in a wheelchair across the insanely busy street between a public health center and the mall. He was on one side, me and my 3 kids were on the other. There was no traffic light or crosswalk in eyesight. We walked as close as we could and I yelled across the traffic, "Do you need any help?"

He smiled a little and said he was just waiting for a break in the traffic so he could get across. I smiled and said okay, knowing that break would never come. I started to turn around to walk towards the mall, but something pulled me back, that unsettling feeling that there was more I should do. I watched the cars zooming by, with better things to do than stop for a man in a wheelchair. I stood, trying to think, "How can I get traffic to stop?" I wasn't about to parade my 3 kids into oncoming traffic, but I didn't know what else to do.

Then, like 2 little angels in blue and maize, out came women from the health center. I'd already watched 3 people cross quickly without bothering to help the man in the wheelchair. But these women came out of their offices and literally stopped traffic to get the man across the street safely. We met them on the other side.

We wheeled D out of the cold and into the mall. He was kind, polite and grateful for the help. We found out he'd been waiting for a ride for over 2 hours and was getting hungry, so he was going to the mall to see if he could find chips or something to tide him over until he got home. My kids were sweet and talked with him a bit as we asked him about his life and family.

We found the food court together, bought him some nachos and left him with a little money, as it was obvious he had nothing but a few coins. He shook hands with my children and gave them a snaggle-tooth smile. He said to them, "You are good boys. I bet you are on the honor roll at school, right?" He was so cheerful and happy and giving of his love and energy even though I cannot imagine that his life warrants much tangible happiness. We asked if there was anything else we could do, to which he replied, "I'm just going to sit in here, eat and relax for awhile until my ride comes." He thanked us and blessed us as we walked away.

We still went to see Santa, but it all felt a little different. In fact, Jace didn't ask for anything, just that everyone would have a nice Christmas.

I am incredibly grateful for a sensitive son who listens to the voice of the spirit when it speaks to him. I'm so glad I listened to his little voice. This special Christmas moment reiterated to me that God has no hands but ours. That we have to look outside ourselves and that by doing that, we find real joy and happiness. It was perhaps, the merriest moment of my Christmas.