Daddy Love

With Mike's hectic schedule this semester (school-18 credits, work, student org president, resumes, job apps, interviews, fly-outs, recriuting trips, 3 boys, a tired wife, bishopric, etc.) he's very selfish with this little guy when he has some time at home. Basically he walks in and swoops him up, turning him over only when he must and usually reluctantly. We both love having a baby in our home again. I love watching the two of them together.

Too see these cute boys together, click here.

Our Best Easter

Nothing like Easter pictures, so check out the full post here

For the past 7 years Mike and I have been trying to teach our kiddos about the true meaning of Easter and put the focus on Christ and His resurrection. It's not an easy task with little ones, but as our boys get older, I'm amazed at the gospel conversations we can have and their understanding. We had a beautiful week leading up to Easter as we read about what Christ did each day. Then, on Easter Sunday, after baskets early in the morning and reading a sweet book titled, The Easter Walk we went to a great church service where we all strengthened our testimony that our Savior lives. All those years of trying so hard when it seems like a waste of time are starting to prove that good habits and intentions get rewarded at some point.

The rest of the day was spent just enjoying gorgeous weather and loving our time together.Plus, we had a great meal with fantastic friends, so how can you beat that? It was a GREAT Easter.

The night before we did the traditional "egg hunt," which, no matter how old, we always love.

What's the Score?

Well, we don't know...because apparently kids are not supposed to keep score when they play sports any more. Even Jace, who is almost 8 is obviously too young to handle winning and losing. Oh, and you can travel, double dribble, you can't steal.. Let me just say, and I'll move on (or not), that I would rather teach my kids at a younger age (for sure by 6 or 7) to win and lose graciously and to play the game right...than to have it hit them in the face at some later point (when?) and then wonder, "Why doesn't everyone win? That's no fair! Everyone used to always win! I thought I was good. What happened?" I fully believe my kids are capable of handling winning and losing. And if they are not, it's time for them to learn how. It's like a major backlash from crazy sideline parents and abusive coaches. I'm pining for a happy middle.

Plus, kids play and try harder when there is something on the line. There is almost no incentive to play as a team if it doesn't matter who wins. Every kid on the court is in it for themselves, no one passes, no one goes for the sure shots, everyone is out to be Jimmer Fredet from half court. Harsh reality of life...sometimes you don't win. Get used to it. Learn to deal. Play harder, you'll have a better shot at winning.

So, I'm kind of sounding like a Tiger mom, but I'm not. Sports here are just a totally different ball game (pun intended). We are getting used to it, seeing the value in the Kumbaya theory, but in all honesty, wishing for better. A little healthy competition and a little intensity by the time you turn 8 doesn't seem like a sin.
That being said, the boys have loved playing basketball this season and had lots of fun.
Boy #3
Loves practice, hates games. Great dribbler and shooter, but when it comes to playing a game, he looks at his teammates as they swarm the ball and the other players like, "You guys are crazy. I'm just going to hang out over here, and if the ball comes my way, so be it. If not, I am NOT throwing myself into that mess of people." He marches to the beat of his own dribble.
Boy #2
 Serious skills and seriously tiny. Such a coordinated and fast kid. He's learned so much and is starting to be more willing to be aggressive. Great dribbler, good shooter and plays hard.  Jumps non stop and is almost always open right by the hoop, but no one passes. Basketball with 5 and 6-year-olds is always interesting, but he loves playing.
Boy #1
Crazy serious, competitive (though it has been drilled into him that winning doesn't matter, which is probably good for him), just a good athlete. He practices and plays hard and it shows. He loves being out there and loves team sports. Sometimes he thinks he's professional. Case in point: After a particularly lazy game of his, I asked him why he didn't try and get the ball, but just stood down by the hoop, yelling for the ball. His reply?

"That's what they do in the NBA. Other guys get the ball, then they throw it to the best player and he always shoots it."

I kindly reminded him that he does not play in the NBA, he keeps throwing up crazy shots, so he is not the best shooter, and 8 year olds have no desire to work hard to get the ball then pass it to the lazy kid at the end of the court. He didn't think I was being very nice, but really???? His confidence kills me. Lucky for us, the next game he was back into hussle mode. He doesn't like correction, but he's pretty good to put it into practice.

I have to say that one of the best things about having 3 boys is watching them play sports. Glad I like it because it looks like this just might be my life!
To read more, and see some darn cute pics, click here

Tender Heart

#2 has such a gift for empathy. He feels, in his little soul, how others feel. If we ever tell a story about something sad, he talks to us for hours about how if he were there, he would have helped/done things differently. 

The other day we took #3 to the doctor for his 4 year old shots. It was so sad. I had to hold him down while they poked him 4 times. He was wailing and my heart hurt for him...he's a pretty tough kid usually. When he was done and sniffling in my lap, #2 gave him a hug and knelt down at his feet and lovingly put his boots on for him saying in a high, sweet voice, "Are you okay buddy?" He carried #3s books and pictures and kept checking on him and reminding him of the treat to come.

We stopped at the store to get some much needed sugar and #2 walked with his little arm around #3s shoulders. He turned to me and said, "Mom, I just feel so sorry for him. When he was getting his shots, I felt so sad for him that I started crying too, so I put the book over my face so the doctors wouldn't see me."

My heart swelled inside. He is such a sweet, kind and soft kid. True, brotherly love.

Learning to Read

It's no secret that I love to read. Before I had children, I had visions of snuggling up with babies, teens and everything in between and sharing my love of books. Funny how most of those idealized visions never materialize. You see, I have 3 boys. Busy, crazy, active, amazing boys and I love it. They like books and like to read, but they would always choose something active over something still, so I had to make learning to read a bit more fun than looking at letters and practicing sounds.

So, just in case we have more kids at some future point and I'm too old to remember what I did well with the first 3, I thought I should write a few parenting things down, since my blog is pretty much our only journal now.  Also, a few people here were interested in how I got my boys to read fairly early, so I thought I should make a record of it. 

Before I start with my explanation,  you must know that I think children really catch on when they are ready. My boys are not "gifted" readers that plow through chapter books at 4 or teach themselves to read at 2. I've known a few kids like that and they are amazing. Also, all of my boys have learned differently. #1 knew letters and sounds at a ridiculously young age, #2 has great instincts and can hear the correct words when he strings sounds together without any effort at all, and #3 was so stubborn that he went from barely recognizing all his letters to reading 3 and 4 letter words with short vowels in 3 months, plus he really loves books. There is only so much you can do as a parent but you can do something!

That being said, I've always hoped my kids would be reading before Kindergarten, for the sheer fact that if they can do that, it seems they are immediately labeled as "smart," and that is nice label to start life with, even if it's not always true. On the other hand, my friend's daughter didn't read at all, not one word, until 1st grade, but then reading just clicked for her and as a 3rd grader she's her classes' highest performer and major book lover. So, lots of times it really doesn't matter, but since I loved it so much it was important to me. Plus, you hear of boys struggling with reading more often than girls, so anything I could do to give my boys a leg up was a good thing.

Also, I'm not a teacher or expert, but I thought I'd share a few things that were fun and worked for us so that I can remember too.

Books

These are 2 of our favorites. One thing I like about them is that they are easy for the kids to participate in. From the time they can talk, once they are familiar with the book, I usually leave the last word of the sentence out and let them fill it in. As they get older I leave out more and more. We have quite a few books they can recite. It gives them confidence and they learn to look at pictures and predict words. It's always been a fun game for us and keeps them engaged in reading.

Alphabet Floor Puzzles

We have used this puzzle like crazy. We have lots but this is my favorite because the letters are formed correctly and are easy to read and the pictures are in the background. We have used this to pieces with all of my kids. The ways we used the puzzle:

*We would do it together

*We'd sing the ABCs as we pointed to the letter. We'd sing it faster and faster and faster.

*We'd jump from letter to letter while singing.

*We'd point out the letters we knew.

*When they were familiar with some letters, I'd put a piece of sugar cereal on each letter, and if they knew the letter, they could eat the cereal. If not, I'd eat it. I'd start with just a few that I knew they knew then add one or two every time we did the puzzle. I tried to teach the easiest, most familiar ones first.

*Pretty soon, they knew all the letters, so we'd do the same thing with sounds. It was a fun game that kept their attention. It seemed like they looked forward to our puzzle time.

*We stopped when it wasn't fun or when interest was gone. One thing I knew was that I never wanted reading to be a punishment or chore but a fun way to interact with me and the world. 

The Letter Factory DVD

I'm not usually a fan of TV learning, in fact it seems like an oxymoron, but this DVD was awesome for teaching sounds. Once my kids knew the letters, I let them watch this DVD for their TV time and the sounds usually came lickety split.

My first steps to reading books

I think these books are painfully boring, but all my kids have really liked them and they teach lower case letters really well. Capitals seemed much easier than lowercase. You can get the whole set at the library.

Spelling!

One thing that has always worked well for us is using spelling to learn to read. In the car or when trying to pass time, I'll give my kids words to spell. In the beginning, I'll help them sound them out, letter by letter (meaning I'll say the sound and they the letter), but it's not long before they can do it on their own. I also like using spelling to teach new concepts like the silent "e" or the "y" that sounds like an "i." We actually spell a lot before we try read.

Foam Bath Letters!

We used these a bunch too. I'd suggest buying at least 2 sets, so you have 2 of each letter. We spent a lot of bathtub time spelling words on the wall. I love places where my kids enjoy (or have to) chat with me. This felt like a game to them too, so they were happy to play "bath spelling" which often leads to "bath reading."

Lists!

I'm always amazed at how quickly kids start stringing sounds together once they have them down. We like to write our own lists to read and start with a simple sound like, "at." Once they can do that, we add a letter to the beginning of the sound (cat, bat, sat, mat) then do another ending and do the same thing and presto! they can read. Watching their face when they do it on their own for the first time is magic. They are so proud.

Sight Words.

There are just some words you can't sound out, so we have to "remember" those. These are tough and it's helpful when a preschool teacher or kindergarten teacher has a list and reinforces it. If not, they are easy to find online. 

Beginning Books

There are so many series out there for beginning readers. We've almost always gotten them from preschool or kindergarten teachers.  If my kids ever got frustrated with it, they would read a page, then I would read a page. I never wanted reading to be a hassle for them or force them to read books that were too far above their level. That's just frustrating. I also didn't stop reading to them for pleasure just because they could read.

After this, I'm so glad my kiddos go to school! We try to supplement and reinforce what they learn there. All 3 of them would still rather play then read, so we have a plan each night:

Later Bedtime

We read scriptures together at 8, then they are all welcome to keep their light on for 30 minutes and read on their own. If they are not reading or looking at books, the light goes off. It's their personal reading time. I read to them at other times of the day. It's been a great way for our kids to settle down and have some independent time and makes reading a real privilege, not a chore.

My Merriest Moment

Today was a busy day. I decided to take my kids to the mall to see Santa. Crazy? Yes. When we pulled into the parking lot I realized just how crazy the idea was. I could not see an empty parking spot. As I turned down one aisle, #1 yelled, "Mom, stop! There is a man back there in a wheelchair who needs help."

My reply was, "Honey, lots of people are in wheelchairs. They do just fine. He's fine. I didn't even see him." And I started to pull into a coveted parking space decently close to the doors.

Then, #1 again, "Mom, the spirit is telling me that we really should go help that man."

I paused. I know that one of the most important things Mike and I try to teach our boys is to listen to the good promptings we receive. It's extremely important to us that we raise children who care about others more than themselves. We would love it if their natural instincts were to always watch for those in need and be unafraid to help. So, here I was in a tough spot. I really didn't want to help, I had Christmas plans, but how could I ignore my 7 year old who was demonstrating what we hope our children are learning in our home. So, I backed out of the parking spot and found one far away from the mall, but closer to the man.

We got out of the car and I finally saw what #1 was talking about. An older man was sitting in a wheelchair across the insanely busy street between a public health center and the mall. He was on one side, me and my 3 kids were on the other. There was no traffic light or crosswalk in eyesight. We walked as close as we could and I yelled across the traffic, "Do you need any help?"

He smiled a little and said he was just waiting for a break in the traffic so he could get across. I smiled and said okay, knowing that break would never come. I started to turn around to walk towards the mall, but something pulled me back, that unsettling feeling that there was more I should do. I watched the cars zooming by, with better things to do than stop for a man in a wheelchair. I stood, trying to think, "How can I get traffic to stop?" I wasn't about to parade my 3 kids into oncoming traffic, but I didn't know what else to do.

Then, like 2 little angels in blue and maize, out came women from the health center. I'd already watched 3 people cross quickly without bothering to help the man in the wheelchair. But these women came out of their offices and literally stopped traffic to get the man across the street safely. We met them on the other side.

We wheeled D out of the cold and into the mall. He was kind, polite and grateful for the help. We found out he'd been waiting for a ride for over 2 hours and was getting hungry, so he was going to the mall to see if he could find chips or something to tide him over until he got home. My kids were sweet and talked with him a bit as we asked him about his life and family.

We found the food court together, bought him some nachos and left him with a little money, as it was obvious he had nothing but a few coins. He shook hands with my children and gave them a snaggle-tooth smile. He said to them, "You are good boys. I bet you are on the honor roll at school, right?" He was so cheerful and happy and giving of his love and energy even though I cannot imagine that his life warrants much tangible happiness. We asked if there was anything else we could do, to which he replied, "I'm just going to sit in here, eat and relax for awhile until my ride comes." He thanked us and blessed us as we walked away.

We still went to see Santa, but it all felt a little different. In fact, Jace didn't ask for anything, just that everyone would have a nice Christmas.

I am incredibly grateful for a sensitive son who listens to the voice of the spirit when it speaks to him. I'm so glad I listened to his little voice. This special Christmas moment reiterated to me that God has no hands but ours. That we have to look outside ourselves and that by doing that, we find real joy and happiness. It was perhaps, the merriest moment of my Christmas.