Good-bye for now, Grammy

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On Thursday, April 19th, Mike's sweet Grandma, Sue Romney,  passed away peacefully after a full 97 years of vibrant living. Her death, while expected and in many ways hoped for because of her declining health, left us all a bit emotional and intensely grateful for eternal families.

While I've only known Grammy for the past 13 years, I felt we were kindred spirits from the beginning. Mike wanted the approval of Grammy before we were married and right away we could sit and chat for hours about anything, and I always looked forward to our visits. She was interested and engaged in our conversations and had such insight into so many topics. My smile comes easily as I remember her appropriately feisty personality and independent will. She unabashedly spoke her mind and said things only a well-dressed, white haired woman could get away with. Since moving from Utah in 2001, we've visited her every time we've come to town. She always greeted us by telling us how "well" we looked and when I cut my hair and added bangs, she approvingly noted, "You are looking so modern."

 I always looked forward to sitting on her white couch surrounded by breakable trinkets and valued family photos and grabbing a chocolate on our way out as we spent a few hours together. We passed the time by listening to her recount growing up in Riverdale, UT (Odgen for non Utah natives) and being hired to give readings. She loved telling us how multiple men pursued her and how confident and assured she was. She was proud of her education and intelligence and I loved that. She enjoyed telling us about her courtship with her husband Derald and we could hear the story over and over and never tire of it, perhaps because when she spoke of the man she loved, her eyes twinkled and she smiled that familiar smile of a woman who has been loved by a good man. Although he's been gone a very long time, it was obvious he had never left her heart. She never forgot to remind me of how handsome he was or how she wished I had known him. She had such pride in being the companion of such a great man and you could feel it as she spoke lovingly of him.  We enjoyed hearing about their graduate school experience and the way they saved every penny and then about her married life hosting many apostles in their home and the way she used to entertain. I would have loved knowing her when she was young. She also kept us up on the happenings in her retirement home, her exercises and the people she ate meals with along with the BYU Men's volleyball team and the BYU devotionals. She loved talking about her children and how successful they all are and how they all married such lovely people. That has to do a mama good.

After we had children, our visits got a bit shorter, but she was so kind and excited to see our boys. She let them each take a chocolate or two and as we were taking out toys or crayons always apologized for not having anything for them to play with. Often I would take the boys out after a few minutes and let them get popcorn and run around outside while Mike finished the visit. I was amazed by the way she always made my boys feel loved. She didn't mind them touching her glass eggs or breakable table and smiled at them with love in her eyes when they gave her a hug or asked her questions. She always told them how "handsome" they are. My boys were all so sweet to her and always willing and happy to go visit. They spoke of her often with genuine love.

We were so grateful to be able to see her for a short moment on Easter Sunday. She had moved to a more medically equipped facility and was staying in the memory care unit. When she saw us, her eyes lit up and she recognized who we were and greeted us with hugs, but after only a few minutes it was evident that she no longer remembered. It was a bit sad, but on the way home we rejoiced in her great life. My boys loved being able to give her one last hug.  We love her so much and are so grateful she is back with her sweetheart.

When we told our boys she had passed away, Jace was a bit emotional, Parker just said, "So, she is up in heaven now?" and James ran to me and sobbed on my shoulder for almost 10 minutes. This is the first time anyone we really love has died and it was hard to know that we have to say good-bye for a time, but we are so glad that we know we will see her again.

So my boys don't forget, I asked them what they will remember about Grammy. They said,

James: Grammy Romney was so nice. I liked eating her chocolate when we visited.

Parker: I want to remember that she was nice to us. I liked looking at the pictures at her house.

Jace: When we came to visit she was always cheerful even if she was sick. She loved me and she always cared about us and she loves little children. I looked forward to going because I was excited to see her and give her hugs and eat the popcorn out in the hall. The last time we visited her I liked meeting some of the new people there. She always said we were such "nice looking boys." She would say, "Again, you are such nice looking boys, did I tell you that already?" I liked the chocolate in her little bowl and I liked how the people treated her where she lived. She was just a good grandma and very nice and I wish she didn't die and I'm so glad we visited her one more time before she died and I wish I could go to her funeral.

I wish I had always taken pictures during our visits, but I do have a few from the later years:

This is the first and possibly last time I will post on Brooke's blog.  Brooke is much more eloquent than I am, but I thought it appropriate that I share a few memories and thoughts about my grandmother.  More so for my boys than any other reason.  My grandfather, who passed in 1993, was the long time stake president, regional authority and patriarch in Spokane. I only mention that because anyone who is a member of our church knows what those positions of service mean for the wife of the church leader.  I grew up hearing stories about Grammy hosting general authorities and prophets in their home.  One of my favorite memories was sleeping in the guest room, on the beautiful hand carved four post bed, and having Grammy tell me bed time stories of prophets who had visited and slept in that same bed.  That was obviously back when the church was much smaller and the relationships among the leaders more intimate.  She had such a deep respect and abiding love for each of the brethren who had visited.  I could feel it in her recounting of the stories.  

I'm sure all of my cousins would also share the stories of trying to steal a piece of Grammy’s famous almond roca, while it was lying out on the billiards table downstairs.  It was the most amazing roca and I've been searching for years to find a comparable recipe; in vain.  Grammy loved making rice pudding.  I didn't particularly enjoy it when I was younger, but it grew on me as I got older.  Similar to my roca dilemma, I don't enjoy other people's rice pudding now, because it's not the same as Grammy’s.

Grammy was practical, frugal and stern, having grown up during the depression on a farm in northern Utah.  She was also very loving, kind and concerned with everyone's welfare.  Grammy was the first to welcome new neighbors to the community, hosted ladies' game night at her home regularly, and was respectful of other's beliefs and needs, without compromising her own.

I could write books about my Grammy’s accomplishments during her long sojourn here on earth.  She was an amazingly intelligent, well read, well spoken woman of courage and faith.  She would always correct our grammar, taught us that a polite boy says "I've had sufficient thank you" at the dinner table, and expected the very best effort from her grandchildren.  I never wanted to let her down growing up and will continue to try and live up to her expectations now that she's gone.  I love you Grammy and am grateful for the wonderful legacy you've left.  I'm so glad you're finally united with grandpa again and I'm sure you two are dancing together, just like you did at your 50th wedding anniversary and so many times before.  See you soon! (relatively speaking)