O Christmas Tree

It's interesting to me that you can always find the things you'll never use, like 3 rubbermaids full of Christmas clutter that I despise. I only own a few Christmas decor items that really like, including but not limited to: my Little People Nativity set, my Nutcrackers from Europe, our wooden manger, and my tree ornaments are decent (oh, I love our other nativity sets too, they are just breakable, so they are unusable in a small place without high shelves to put them on). However, the manger and ornaments are no where to be found. Can't imagine where those 2 things could have gone!

So, while we decked our halls our tree stayed empty. I wandered through stores, longing for the fabulous decor that seemed to be everywhere. Even at cheap spots, after I did the math, to outfit our small tree would have meant no presents for someone this year.

My problem is, I usually know exactly the look I want and I'm pretty unwilling to settle. I'd rather things just stay undone than done in a way I don't enjoy. But, we were having a few parties at our place this year and the tree must have decor! On the other hand, I'm not crafty and few projects I take on turn out well (right, friends?). But, I had an idea for our tree this year that was simple, fast, cheap and fun, and don't look too closely, because perfection is not my thing, but it actually turned out!

I bought white wooden letters that spelled HO! HO! HO! and modge podged  different green/white and red/white paper to them, then hung them with fun Christmas ribbon. I found 70 cent wooden snowflakes at Michael's and my boys and I painted and glittered them, which was a fun family project and one flake even doubled for a star, saving us $15.  I found little snowflakes for 40 cents at Michael's that were already glittery and hung them with minty dental floss, and filled in the holes with cheap candy canes I have to replace every few days, since they always seem to disappear. Then found an old, red favorite blanket that doubles well as a tree skirt and, there you have it...an entire tree for hardly and money at all! Plus, we got a Christmas craft out of it!

Christmas Music

One of the best things about Christmas is the music. I love music...truly, truly love it. I wish I had a talent for it. Music has been a big part of our Christmas this year.

Handel's Messiah Mike and I had the privilege of attending the entire opera this year. It was incredible. I was touched as hundreds of audience members felt the holiness and joy of the story of Christ, his birth and resurrection. It was a beautiful moment. Then, as I was reading this month's Ensign, there was a specific article on Handel and I loved it. Read it here

I especially enjoyed the way it ended:

In her epic poem, Aurora Leigh, Elizabeth Barrett Browning expressed the eloquent thought: UAdd a Note

Earth’s crammed with heaven,

And every common bush afire with God;

But only he who sees takes off his shoes;

The rest sit round it and pluck blackberries.⁹

May each of us unlatch our shoes and cram our labors with the essence of heaven, and may none of us be found plucking blackberries when a much grander, loftier work needs to be done.

And at the end of our divinely ordained days, may we be able to acknowledge, with Handel, that God has visited us in our labors.

ChoirI'm not a great singer, in fact, I'm probably barely a good one. I'm good enough to know when I sound bad and I can stay quiet. I originally joined choir so my husband would go. He's really great and needed, especially in a choir. Then I realized how much I enjoyed singing praises to our God and I started going for me. We have a really incredible choir here and an inspiring director. I've already learned so much from the people around me who generously allow me to sing with them and I look forward to it each week. I love learning how to do new things and I really love watching my husband share his talents. This past Sunday we sang in church and my belief in Jesus Christ as the Son of God and the holiness of His mission to save us was reiterated to my soul through music. It was beautiful and moving and I loved, in a small way, being a part of that testimony.

Childrens' VoicesI work with the kids at church in my Primary calling. I love being in there and especially love listening to them sing. They sang in church this past Sunday too...Away in a Manger. When Jace sat down next to me, he was beaming and leaned over to say, "Mom, I really feel the spirit right now." I did too. I was touched by their little voices singing about what they believe in and I love how music simply teaches truth. We've had a wonderful time this season singing along to just about every Christmas carol at home and in the car...Parker and James can't wait to see what the next song will be, even if Jace says, "Please, can we listen to a rockin' song instead of Christmas songs????" I promised him, after December 25th, we can be done, but positively not until then!

We Broke Up

I've had an almost 20 year love/hate relationship with my frenemy, "the scale."

It all started in 8th grade when we were "weighed in" for the first time. I got my blue slip of paper that said, "113 pounds." I still remember. We weren't supposed to talk about our number...yeah right. So, I lied. All my friends weighed less than I did even though I was plenty thin and fit. I started weighing myself on our scale at home every now and then, just to check in.

During dance practices in my "awkward" years, I was told to "suck in," and I watched others be praised for their still very girlish bodies. Mine was changing and I couldn't do anything about it and I didn't like it one bit. I hated everything that got bigger...I noticed rolls where I barely had any and invented cellulite when I looked at myself from behind. I started "watching" what I ate but knew too little about nutrition to realize that "low fat" often meant "high calorie" and along with natural body changes at my age I ended up gaining weight and hating the way I looked.

Then came high school. I danced and wore leotards and tights in front of an entire school. You can't help but compare. The summer before my junior year I ended up loosing about 7 pounds...on accident. Just a lot of running and practicing and my body settling in to itself. I was weighing myself every day, sometimes twice a day. I was getting a lot of attention and positive praise for my new, fit shape and it felt good. If 7 pounds was good, then more would be better, I was sure. I found a book about calories and memorized every entry of every food I ate. I exaggerated my own caloric intake and stopped eating everything I liked: pizza, bagels, cheese, chocolate, dessert, salad dressing and talked myself into the fact that I didn't like any of those things....I was oh so in control and getting oh so skinny. The scale was my very best friend. My happiest time of the day was when I stepped on the scale and saw the numbers go down. Really, truly, nothing tasted as good as skinny felt. I often wondered why everyone didn't live like I did--I felt fabulous.

The college years didn't get much better, in fact without homecooked meals and healthy food, they got worse....I lived on a ridiculous amount of bubble gum, tic tacs and Diet Coke. I ran at least 5 miles a day and took exercise classes. Looking back, I can't believe I could function at all let alone pull the grades I pulled.

I brought my scale to college. I remember weighing 6 times a day. I remember weighing with all my boots and coats on, then taking each article of clothing off until I was left with nothing on and the smallest number the scale could find for my body. I'd step on it 3 or 4 times just to make sure that was as low as it would go.

I remember mornings after I'd allowed myself to eat with my roommates and the scale showing a bigger number than the day before. It was a bad day. I would try and fast the entire day or eat only cabbage and mixed vegetables or just the skin of an apple. I'd vow to never eat treats again. I always felt hungry.

There were some really bad times...and so much detail that would bore you to death. There was a time when my body shut down and said, "Enough." It was the summer after my freshman year. My hair started falling out in clumps in the shower, my period stopped, I felt like I had to lie to everyone. It wasn't good and it scared me. After that, I tried to at least be a little smarter about it. I started eating a little more and started eating low calorie foods that were high in nutrients. I put on 2.5 pounds and it killed me. But, my period came back and my hair stopping coming out in clumps.

Looking back, I feel extremely blessed to have been able to always consume just enough to not permanently ruin myself. I feel so blessed that I was able to still get good grades and feel friendly, happy and confident most of the time. I'm so grateful for loving and supportive friends and family. I'm so grateful that I was never able to make myself throw up...because I would have tried that too, I am sure.

After marriage, at the urging of Mike, I let go a bit, and I didn't know how to control anything. If I started eating, I couldn't stop. My body was in a feast or famine mode and didn't know when it would be fed again. Still weighing multiple times a day, most of the time it ruined my day. I'd go the whole day without eating anything, then binge from the time I got home from work. Mike's love sustained me and made me feel thin and beautiful and amazing even when I wasn't. Boy am I grateful for him.

Luckily, having babies reset my metabolism and view on health. But still, nothing more exhilarating for a scale addict than watching the numbers go down after having a baby. Such a rush. After having Jace, I got a lot healthier. I started eating healthier, doing moderate exercise, and eating more often. My metabolism kicked in again and I feel so lucky that it does its part. I also feel very lucky that I didn't permanently ruin myself. I'm still pretty careful about what I eat and boy how I've always loved my scale.

Even as a mother, I'd set my scale 4 pounds heavy...just so I would never be surprised by the number on any other scale. There was no worse feeling than thinking I was one weight then stepping on a different scale and seeing I was wrong, in a bad way. If mine was 4 pounds heavy, I'd always be pleasantly surprised by another. I've weighed myself at least twice a day, every day for the last 7 years.

My weight in the morning decided lots of things: if I should feel happy, if I should smile, if I should think about others, if I should eat breakfast or lunch or just wait until dinner, if I could have dessert, if I should wear a fitted shirt, if I should cuddle up with my husband. I still did these things, but it took work. I could be feeling great, feeling like I looked great, then step on the scale and it could change everything.

I brought my scale on vacation in my suitcase...after all, how could I enjoy a trip without knowing my weight?

Then we moved. I left my scale in Arizona and my cheap self didn't want to spend our money on a new one. So, for the first time in 18 years, I'm scale-less!!!!! I love it. I check in with the scale once a week at the gym (I feel like it's healthy to know where you are at) and that's it. I've been amazed that I'm still the same as I was before. I didn't think I'd ever be able to self-regulate without seeing the numbers on the scale, but I found out, I can.

In the beginning I didn't know if I should feel like I was having a "fat" day or a "skinny" day. I realized I'd never really looked at myself, I just trusted the scale to decide for me. It decided everything for me...it's been a whole new adventure to decide if my body needs another helping or if it's okay to have some chocolate or if it's time to turn up the exercise, but it's been really, really good.

Kind of a long post that is probably boring to most, but in a really weird way, I'm really proud of myself. I feel great, healthy, fit and actually normal and it feels good....My scale and I now have a much healthier relationship...laid-back, casual, and no longer toxic.

Meet Grateful Pig

My mom sent us "Grateful Pig" this year in the mail and he has been such a fun part of our November. At least once a day each of us write something we are grateful for on a slip of paper and slide it in to Grateful Pig. On Thanksgiving when everyone is here, each family will open their pig and read about the many blessings we all have. My boys love the secret element to it and I love that they are constantly thinking about what they have...and so am I.

My mom got the cute sparkly pigs at Old Navy for $5 and I thought it would be a great way to do December too...instead of thinking about all the things you want, thinking about what you already have. Great tradition! Thanks mom, we love it!!

Here is the letter she attached on cute paper with a colorful bow on grateful pig:

Think of THANKFUL PIG like you would his famous cousin, Piggy Bank...something to place your deposits in until it's time to make a big withdrawal. THANKFUL PIG accepts little written expressions of gratitude instead of pennies and nickels. Put THANKFUL PIG in a place where he can be easily seen. Once a day, ask every family member to write on a slip of paper something he or she is thankful for. Place each slip into THANKFUL PIG. Over time, the slips will tell your family's unique story, all the while reminding each family member how important--and fun--it is to be thankful.

By Thanksgiving Day your pig will be well stuffed--maybe even overstuffed. THANKFUL PIG'S big reveal on Thanksgiving Day will help turn the holiday into what i was meant to be: the joyful climax to a year of gratitude!

Soup, Dessert, Books

What's for dinner?Butternut Squash Soup. The best recipe I've ever had. I took a really simple one and tweaked it a few years ago and it's one of my favorite things about the fall season. Plus, it's so good for you!

3 Tbsp. butter
2 1/2 C. chopped onion
3 1/2 tsp. pumpkin pie spice
1/2 tsp. cinnamon
3 T. brown sugar
6 C. chicken broth (I used Swanson)
1 tsp. salt
3/4 tsp. pepper
5 1/2-6 C. cooked, mashed butternut squash
2-3 C. milk

Slice the butternut squash (about 3 med. size) in half, remove seeds, wrap it in foil and cook at 400 degrees for 45 minutes or until soft. Scoop it out, mash a bit and place in a bowl (you can do this the day before). You can also buy cubed squash at the store...I'd say about 3 lbs. of cubed squash.

Put butter, onion, sugar and seasonings in a saucepan and cook over med-hi heat until onion is soft. Stir in broth and squash. Bring to a boil and cook for about 10 minutes. Remove from heat and puree in blender or food processor (or I use my hand blender and it works great). Return to saucepan and stir in milk (add 2-3 cups depending on thickness desired) and reheat. (When you reheat the next day, add a little more milk to thin it out a bit).

Sometimes, depending on the squash, my soup needs a bit more salt or pepper. Taste it and feel free to stir in more salt, pepper or spice.

What's for dessert?world's easiest Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Cookies1 small can of pumpkin
1 spice cake mix
3/4 bag of milk chocolate chips

I'm serious. Mix the cake mix and pumpkin together, add chocolate chips. Place by spoonfuls onto a cookie sheet and bake at 325 for 12 minutes. We love them and they can't be too bad for you, right? (Unless you eat 10 at a time like I do). Also, if you can only find the big cans of pumpkin, just use 2 cake mixes and more chocolate.

What should I read?Still Alice: Lisa GenovaThis book was amazing. I read it in about 3 days because I couldn't stop. It's about a woman who gets Alzheimer's in her mid 50s. It was just...everything. The writing fantastic, the characters perfect and the experience so real. It was frightening, loving, emotional, hopeful and hopeless all at the same time. I loved the length too...just right. I'd recommend it to anyone.

Outliers: Malcolm Gladwell
This book was absolutely fascinating. It's a non-fiction book but I couldn't wait to pick it up and I never wanted to put it down, which is rare for me and non-fiction. It explores why some of the most successful people in the world are so successful. It creates a compelling argument for a success formula (which also involves a heavy degree of luck...so sorry if you were going to follow it step by step). It delves into elite hockey players in Canada, Chinese math students, the Beatles, Bill Gates, and oh so many other fascinating characters. It turns out each of the success stories has the exact same properties. It talks a lot about education of children and what works best. It also talks about why people just need to be "smart enough," not necessarily geniuses. It lays out reasons for having your child be "older" for his age and how your upbringing and culture are big predictors of how successful you will be. This is an outstanding read and I gleaned so much inspiration from it.Pope Joan: Donna Woolfolk Cross
Absolutely, positively fantastic. I loved this book for so many reasons. First, the writing was just the way I like it...descriptive enough to get a point across but not too flowery. It was historical fiction written by a woman who usually writes only non-fiction, so she did her homework. It is about a woman in the 800s (yes, the 800s). I love how it explores the crusades and the Catholic church during the dark ages. I loved watching the heroine fight for light, truth, and knowledege. I love the way they bring in ancient great thinkers and try to reconcile logic and faith. I was amazed by what life was like then. The author also did a wonderful job of really giving us an actual setting...what they ate, how they cared for the ill, how they socialized. It was just so good. At the end the author gives evidence for what she has written and it felt so satisfying. The best part though? I couldn't put it down. I was hooked during the first chapter. Oh, and it's clean which is always a bonus.

Just English?

Today, at dinner we were talking about the day as usual. I asked #2what he had for snack and he said, "We had a really yucky snack that was like really thick Jello and it had cranberries in it and smelled like hot sauce. I can still taste in my mouth even though I only had one bite. It was from Saki. It's her favorite thing. She's from Japan. She takes English classes."

"And mom, when my teacher asked us to raise our hand if we spoke more than one language almost everyone could raise their had because they spoke 2, except for me and Hailey. Why don't we speak another language???

#1: "Yeah mom. It's the same in my class. Almost every one knows 2 languages. I said I know a little Spanish (what he knows is exclusively from Dora when he was 2), but everyone else knows really cool languages like Chinese and Arabic and stuff."

Well, can't compete can we? At their elementary school there are 29 first languages. I don't even think I could name 29 languages. Maybe if we speak English REALLY well we can count it for 2...otherwise, we are going to need to watch a lot more Dora.

Old Stuff, New House

Moving is a pain, but on the upside, I was able to do a little redecorating...actually re-purposing is more accurate since our funds were pretty minimal for the project. I had to figure out how to use my old stuff and still get the new look I'd been craving out of a VERY old and VERY small space. It was one of the many times I was grateful that my big items were neutral and simple.

We decided to only paint and really decorate the downstairs main living area since we won't be here for long and have to get everything back to its original shape. Everywhere else is put together, but nothing special.

I knew I wanted to lighten things up since the space was small and I was so tired of tan, so we finally found a light gray that we both loved. It's still warm enough to go with our stuff, but light and made everything look totally different from before. I found a really cute, cheap rug on clearance at HomeGoods that was just perfect to finish things off. I hate all the cords hanging out everywhere, but we can't do much about it since it's not our place.

We spray painted the mats on my old IKEA frames from green to a bright yellow and bought a few more. In them we put our fun, new family pictures. The project turned out really well and I love how cheap our focus wall was. I also got a cozy new throw from IKEA to add a few more bright colors to the room.

We kept our old table, which has been great and the vase in the center. We hung some much needed hooks for back packs too. In the frame behind the table, I used an old frame, punched out the old picture, spray painted it black and hung a cool piece of Heather Bailey fabric. I love the way it lightened things up and added a little more color to our space. Also love that I found a place for my big vase with bamboo.
Here is the fabric up close.

I used my same green curtains, lamp and 2 of the same pillows we had, and found this fun green one at Target. Our couch still is just a dark brown leather, not a blackish/red like it looks in a lot of the pictures and the floors are lighter too. It's hard to get good pictures inside our house! I feel like the lighting and my mediocre camera doesn't really do the place justice.
There is no light in our place, so we had to invest in some cheap lamps, nothing special, but it works okay.
There is no space for our computer anywhere, so we created a little office corner. I was wary of it since office stuff seems to pile up and look messy all the time, so we bought a few shelves from IKEA and some of their cute green organization stuff and now everyone has a place for all their paper junk that is hidden. I don't have a junk drawer, which keeps things a bit more organized. I love these things from IKEA and they were so cheap...like $2 a piece. Now this little corner is one of my favorite spots in the room. The picture doesn't really do it justice...maybe I'll try again.
My mirror that I still really love. Sometimes the reflection lets me pretend that things are bigger!

I liked throwing in a little hot pink and orange. Overall, I'm pleased with the way things turned out. Is it my dream place? No, but it totally works for us while we are here and I'm not embarrassed to have people over or let visitors see where we live. I like the clean lines and simple stuff and love the wood floors. I'm sold on them forever! It's amazing what even just one good room can do for your sanity. Totally worth it! I walk in each day and think...yeah...it's okay that we live here...this place is pretty great.

Here was our old spot. Still lots of things I love that are in storage in the basement, but kinda fun to see how things change with just a coat of paint and a little rearranging. While I enjoy having a decorated place, most of all I love that it already feels like home for us. Just grateful every day for such a smooth move to the perfect spot for us...and it's not the paint or pillows...it's the people.