Share, share alike

(Bear with me during some of these posts. With the approach of a new baby, I'm trying to document some of the strategies that have worked for us, so far. Hopefully, I can continue some of the good things and discard the bad.)

Selfishness is one of my least favorite vices. Stuff is just stuff. Things are just things. I remember reading in Randy Pauch's, Last Lecture that he never wanted the people he loved to ever think that things mattered more than people. I wholeheartedly agree.

So, after I had two boys who wanted the same things very often and who often laid claim to ownership, I realized that I hated spending every mothering moment deciding on who owned what. It drove me crazy. So, we instituted a rule in our house: On Christmas and on your birthday, YOU own your items. You can decide if you want them the entire day or want to let others play, but everyone has a birthday and everyone gets new stuff for Christmas (and everyone remembers how you acted). Every other day, the toys or other items belong to our family as a whole and anyone is allowed to play with them, as long as they are respectful, and we switch off reasonably (with a timer when they were little, now they get it without a lot of monitoring).

For the most part, it's worked amazingly well for lots of years, especially since we have 3 boys all so close. I spend very little time regulating and I really like the way my boys, usually, kindly allow their brothers, friends and neighbors to use their stuff and feel comfortable sharing what they have. There are a few exceptions to the rule...bikes are the owners (espeically since everyone has one) and if everyone has something new that is the same and you loose or ruin yours, you're kind of out of luck for a bit.

For us, it's led to a pretty harmonious home regarding toys and other things and this feeling has extended to a more general attitude in life...my boys pretty much know the expectation is to share, even treats after sports games or bites of ice cream with their mom. That's just how we roll.

There are some drawbacks...there is less sense of ownership, so sometimes things aren't taken care of as well as I'd like, once in awhile it may be better not to share (food allergies, etc.) so we have to be careful, and they often assume everyone is as happy to share as they are and that is not always the case, so we have to talk about boundaries and respecting other peoples' stuff, but I feel like, for the most part it has worked really well for our family, especially with 3 so close.

Now, with this new little one, we'll see how it goes. Five years is a big age difference, but I'm hoping to somehow still create that same attitude in him!

The rest of a great visit

Oh, how I love having my parents in town! For some reason, it was especially fun this time. To see the post with all the photos, click here There were so many fantastic, uncaptured moments, but here is a little snapshot of what we were up to:

Baseball
Both my parents were so happy to be able to see a few games and the boys were so happy to be able to show off. My parents love watching the little guys play sports.


Best sports ever! Mitch and Kelly are so good to my kids.





Cub Scouts

There is an area by our house in the common area that is getting worked on, so there is caution tape to try and keep the kids out of the area. When Jace arrived home from cub scouts one night, he stepped in the dirt, and I reminded him not to. Then, my mom said, "That's not what a good cub scout would do."

So, Jace proceeds to say that he is going to be an example of a good cub scout and do a "good turn." He goes inside and gets tape and fixes all the caution tape that kids have torn down and ties and tapes it back to the posts...all the while telling my mom, "I just don't understand why parents don't watch their kids around here and tell them not to take the tape down or walk in this area. I mean, it's just not that hard to watch your kids." (Please keep in mind what he was doing just 5 minutes earlier).

Then, he comes inside and says to me, "Mom, grandma just paid me the nicest compliment. She said, 'If all the cub scouts in the world were just like you, the world would be a better place. I told her, 'You are exactly right.'"

Life is never dull with Jace!

A Lost Tooth

Parker has been wiggling his front tooth forever, and it finally came out! The he lost it again in the car, so he had to write a note to the tooth fairy. Luckily, she still came through!

Mitch's Law School Graduation

Technically, the whole reason they came to visit was for Mitch's law school graduation from Michigan State University. I was so glad to be there! We are all so proud of him.

This was his sorry attempt at a jumping photo. I'm sure he'll be glad he at least did a fist pump.

Jace's Art Show
My parents really hit the timing jackpot and got to see a piece of Jace's artwork displayed in the University of Michigan Art Show. It was really cool to see his name up there along with lots of other kids from around the city. It was a big honor!

The masterpiece

Marathon of Fun

On Saturday we had a marathon day of fun...outside play, bagels, art show, then the boys went to a movie while the girls shopped for a minute, then miniature golfing and out to dinner. Whew! It was a blast and we are so grateful that my parents could be here and keep us company and provide endless hours of entertainment for our kids.

In fact, my kids are pretty sure that they would like to have their grandparents as parents..."they always say, yes!"  or "Grammy said" or "Just let Grandma be the boss" were a few of the new mantras around here. Sadly enough, they are all true and it's  super fun when they come to visit. I'm a little worried about coming down off such a fun week. We were also so glad to have Mitch and Kelly with us almost the whole time. They are the greastest, most fun, patient and loving aunt and uncle. We wish they weren't moving!

Our Trip to Holland

Holland, Michigan that is. The first day my mom was here, we decided to be adventurous and head 2 1/2 hours to Holland, Michigan for the Tulip Festival. I'd heard it was something you had to do at least once while you were here.

We spent most the day at Dutch Village and the kids had an amazing time. When we got there, I thought we'd be lucky to spent one hour there, but my boys loved it and we stayed for 4 hours. I'm always pleasantly surprised when it takes very little for my kids to be amused and have fun.  There is a major overload of pictures on this post, but they were so cute, I couldn't resist!! To see them all, click here!

There were beautiful flowers everywhere



The stork is their national bird...how appropriate! My belly at 20 weeks.

fun shoes

James kept his on forever!

These were the elderly Dutch dancers. My boys were NOT impressed.

They also loved these baby ducks in the pond

After the village, we drove to downtown Holland to explore the tulips and finished just in time for the rain to start. It was a GREAT day!

Farewell

To read this post, click here

Why I loved being a mother this Mother's Day

To see the full post, click here

*3 boys who made me breakfast all on their own before 9 am church

*Handmade cards and art projects.

*A husband who wouldn't let me do anything.

*Beautiful, new, planted flowers out our front door.

*A fabulous, yellow diaper bag for my present (it was a computer case, so lots of pockets, plenty big, all waterproof, and super cute for $25 from TJ Maxx).

*An incredible church service that inspired me to rejoice in my strengths as a mother and strive to be the woman God knows I can be. Many of the shared words came from this perfect message http://lds.org/liahona/1988/03/but-one-thing-is-truly-needful?lang=eng&query=one+thing+truly+needful

*Mothers, all around, who have taught and guided me on my journey. I'm in awe of so many women and mothers in my life.

*Talking to all of our moms and grandmothers to wish them a happy day. I love that there are a few days each year where you really feel the need to express gratitude and connect.

*A really fabulous mothering year, though far from perfect, this year much of our persistence during difficult times with our kids seems to be paying off a bit as I see them grow.

*The chance to be a mother, again. It's such a blessing and we are so excited.

*A husband who is a full partner and huge support in my mothering efforts...couldn't ask for better.

*Spending time with my mom on Mother's Day for the first time in so many years I cannot count. Everyday I feel so blessed to be her daughter and that my kids get to have her as a grandmother. Honestly, each year she amazes me more and just keeps getting better. Ever heard the phrase, "How does she do it?" I think someone coined that after they met my mom. She serves tirelessly...I can't keep up with her. She is the most "anxiously engaged in a good cause" woman I know. She hardly sleeps. She's never sick enough to stop going. I've never, in my life, seen her take a nap. She supports and loves me and builds me up when I am weak. She gives until you wonder what is left for her. Even at 31, when she visits she takes care of me and my family and I hardly lift a finger. Having her here is like a glorious break, but you know everything is being perfectly taken care of, better than you could ever do I just love her so much and am so grateful to be her daughter!

Missing: The Romney Family

Check out this post with pictures, here!

Wondering where we have been? Baseball. Everyday. For hours and hours. We've endured it in freezing rain and wind, in warm sunshine, during brutal games and celebratory ones. We pack dinner 4 nights a week, and then mom says, on the fifth, "Let's get pizza!" We've made lots of new friends and filled up our gas tank with $4 per gallon gas more times than we are willing to count.

Guess what is strange? We all love it. A lot. The boys are both having great seasons and have amazing coaches. Parker is playing coach pitch and learning the game. He's good and pretty focused and boy, can he hit. Jace is playing 3rd, 1st and pitcher and cranking the ball. It's amazing to watch your kids develop. They both play 2 hours games, then want to come home and practice more with dad. Crazy? Yes. Fun? Absolutely.

James is being the best sport in the world, playing catch with his mitt and ball or with dad, raising havoc with Parker, inventing a million new games and picking enough dandelions for the entire city to enjoy while he endures endless games. He's such a good kid to not be going crazy with all this time at the ball park. Next year we add him...what will we do?

We are playing in a smaller town that loves little league and it's been a really fun, homey experience. Opening day was pretty fantastic, even in the cold and rain and they made a big deal about these boys and their coaches. My favorite part was watching all these little ones, in uniform and usually goofy, take off their hats and put their hands over their heart and respectfully stand as the national anthem was sung. Nothing quite like baseball.

Our Best Easter

Nothing like Easter pictures, so check out the full post here

For the past 7 years Mike and I have been trying to teach our kiddos about the true meaning of Easter and put the focus on Christ and His resurrection. It's not an easy task with little ones, but as our boys get older, I'm amazed at the gospel conversations we can have and their understanding. We had a beautiful week leading up to Easter as we read about what Christ did each day. Then, on Easter Sunday, after baskets early in the morning and reading a sweet book titled, The Easter Walk we went to a great church service where we all strengthened our testimony that our Savior lives. All those years of trying so hard when it seems like a waste of time are starting to prove that good habits and intentions get rewarded at some point.

The rest of the day was spent just enjoying gorgeous weather and loving our time together.Plus, we had a great meal with fantastic friends, so how can you beat that? It was a GREAT Easter.

The night before we did the traditional "egg hunt," which, no matter how old, we always love.

Romney #4 is going to be a.....

BOY!

We weren't too surprised and we are so excited! My kiddos were really hoping for a girl, but everyone is getting used to the idea of having another brother. With Mike, we now have a full basektball team :)!

I have to admit, while I was hoping for a chance to try my hands at a girl, having another boy feels just right, just the way our family is supposed to be.  I never imagined my girly self being the ideal mom of all boys, but I really love it. I'd take a baseball game and a bike ride over a dance recital and a craft project any day. I feel pretty spoiled and loved around here all the time, and Mike is the perfect dad to be raising 4 strong, righteous, caring, loving boys. Plus, we are getting serious use out of clothing, sports equiptment, and scouting goods. I love a budget friendly outcome.

Today, I am so grateful for the 4 boys that are already mine and the healthy, active little one on the way. Everything looks great so far. I am one blessed mama!



After the ultrasound...Dr. office lighting is not especailly flattering, but it's al we have!




Our baby boy in all his glory...see the arrow? Pretty positive that is definately a boy part!



Now....please help! We need to come up with ANOTHER boy name. Finding 3 we liked was hard enough, so any suggestions that kind of roll with the others would be much appreciated!

Looking for a Book?

Looking for a Book?

Here are my 3 latest recommendations for all types of readers....

1. Room: Haunting, masterful, grippiing. I can see why it was on just about every "best book" list of 2010, it truly deserved it. I think the author is incredibly talented to be able to write an entire novel in the voice of a precocious 5 year old boy who has been trapped in one room his entire existence and make it a book I couldn't put down. It was one of those I just HAD to finish and still think about. It was clean even though it was dealing with an extremely distasteful subject. I think everyone should pick it up. It's worth the wait at the library!

2. Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother: I loved this book and think every parent should read it whether you agree with Chua's philosophy or not. It's enlightening and made me question and reevaluate how I parent. It's one of those books I can't stop thinking or talking about. I think it's a great counterpoint to many of the other parenting theories widely circulated right now and I love so much of the underlying philosophy for certain children, though I obviously don't agree with much of the execuction. It was an extrememly quick, engaging story that was amazingly honest and thought provoking. It's helped me have the courage and backbone to change a few things around here and at the same time, it made me feel incredibly sane and loving, which was nice too! Totally clean. Whether you agree or disagree with her, it's worth the read.

3. The Magic of Ordinary Days: I just really enjoyed reading this book. There was nothing especially earth shattering, but it was just simple, quiet and beautiful and after reading half-way I couldn't put it down. I love the way it shows the power of love, forgiveness and embracing a path you never thought you'd be on. A quick, clean read most anyone would enjoy.